Kids-- who needs ‘em?

When I was younger I had a best friend that was an only child.  Both of her parents worked long hours and she spent many of her childhood years being raised by a nanny.  We dreamed and talked of our futures as many young girls do.  I had always wanted to get married and have children.  She on the other hand wanted nothing of the sort.  That to me seemed so foreign.  I thought it was just built into our DNA as females to want to get married and raise families.

I had a bit of a “lightbulb” moment the other day when reading about fertility rates dropping.  I read in my textbook that at one time about 95% of women became mothers, leaving really only those who were infertile that didn’t become mothers.  Now more and more women are choosing not to have children and almost a quarter of them in some countries do not become mothers.  Then the golden statement that made it all click, “It has been suggested that some of those who choose not to have children have lower levels of intergenerational and cultural adult attachments.”  Did that just say that because my friend didn’t have siblings of her own or have access to her parents as much as she would have liked/needed, that she now doesn’t want to have children?  Makes sense to me that she didn’t have the life experiences needed to want to bring a child of her own into the world and raise them.  She didn’t have a clue how to do it.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

As more and more women have chosen to enter the workplace and leave their children to be raised by daycares, babysitters, and nannies, have they also raised a generation that doesn’t want to raise future generations?  Something to think about.

Here are some reasons TO have children:

1.       Married couples that choose not to have kids may be more likely to divorce.  Children give them more reason to stay and work on the relationship.

2.       Parents get more opportunities to develop the attributes of Deity J  such as patience, faith, hope, and compassion.

3.       Positive adult development-- not being self-absorbed

4.       Future care for the elderly

5.       Re-population— as the population decreases there will be economic consequences such as less people to fill jobs and a housing market crash due to more houses available than people. 

(Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Image source:  https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/mormonad-bonds-1118310?lang=eng