HOLD TO HOPE

Image source:  http://www.believerclothingco.com/#!shop/c1mxe/products/hold-to-hope-teal

I NEED this shirt! (hint, hint Santa :D )

My dad is a stake president.  He has never really sat with our family during church for almost my whole life because he was always in a bishopric, high council, or stake presidency.  My grandfather has been in similar callings as well as a mission president and he is now the stake patriarch.  All of my aunts, uncles and cousins have been sealed to their spouses in the temple up to this point.  We have a strong pioneer heritage.  Faith runs in our blood for generations.  I’m not bragging by any means, with those bigger callings come greater responsibilities and time away from your family.  It isn’t easy and we’ve always been put on this sort of spiritual pedestal.  Many would be shocked to know that our family is not immune to the grasps of Satan.  Did you know that there are even prophets and apostles that have family members who struggle with serious moral transgressions?  It’s true.  No family is spared the fear of losing a loved one to sin.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

When I learned that my brother was gay and intended to marry a man, let’s just say I went through a tsunami of emotions.  (DISCLAIMER:  This is NOT a debate as to whether or not being gay is a sin or if gay marriage should be legalized, etc.  For the purposes of this post all you need to know is my belief is that the attraction to the same gender itself is not a sin, but acting on it is.  End of discussion.)  I learned the hard way that I handled things VERY wrong.  My fear for his salvation brought out anger for him being so stupid and breaking up our eternal family.  I thought I could bully him into submission and force him to change his mind.  That only strained our relationship, caused him to stop talking to me, and pushed him even farther away.  I reacted as Satan wanted me to instead of acting in a Christ like manner.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Now I’m not telling the whole story here and I wasn’t the only one hurt by this new development in our family.  Being a mother myself I know the love a parent has for their child and I can only scratch the surface when it comes to the deep hurt, disappointment, and fear that our parents felt.  They felt completely lost.  But they are much wiser and learned much faster than I did that an increase of love is the ONLY way to handle these types of situations.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

When I married into my husband’s family, I knew it was for a reason.  It was because they were all crazy and they needed me to fix them :)  haha!  But little did I know that one day they would help fix me.  Interestingly enough, my father in-law has lived this very same experience with his own brothers.  Yes, brothers…two of them.  If there was anyone in this world that knew how I felt it was him!  And with his love and guidance I came to realize that all I could do was love my brother and his partner and hold to hope.   That’s what he’s been doing for over 30 years.

When we feel like we have exhausted all efforts we need to hand it over to the Lord and trust in Him.  The covenants and promises we make as parents are stronger than we might think.  President Joseph Fielding Smith said, “Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents.  Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie.”  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

I have found my own comfort and peace while taking my troubles to the Lord in the temple.  I have been reminded of the power of the promises those covenants we make in the temple hold.  I know that as long as we hold close to those temple covenants, Heavenly Father will keep his end of the deal.  When it seems that we just can’t do any more, we must always HOLD TO HOPE.