Just cause? OR just 'cause?

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We humans always want to take the easy way out.  Just look at all the weight loss gimmicks out there that people fall for daily that claim to give us almost instant results.  But do they ever?  No.  Just as there is no magic pill to fix our weight problems, there is no magical divorce decree to fix our marriage problems.  We will inevitably repeat what we fail to repair.

I know we can all think of someone who got a divorce just because.  I heard of a lady that had been happily married for 20+ years and one day she was telling one of her girlfriends that she was “bored” with her husband.  The “friend” told her she should divorce him, so she did.  Simple as that.  I don’t know what kind of a “friend” talks someone into getting a divorce if there isn’t some serious problems going on and who even listens to that kind of advice if there aren’t any serious problems going on???

Some people might use the excuse that that they just argue too much.  Well guess what?  EVERYONE ARGUES!  It’s perfectly normal to argue with your spouse.  That doesn’t mean you can’t work things out.  Now if that arguing turns physical that’s a different story.

I had a friend that divorced her husband because he stopped going to church and he just wasn’t progressing spiritually like she was.  Yes, that is frustrating, and to some it could be the most tragic thing to happen in a marriage.  But is that really reason enough to throw in the towel?

President James E. Faust taught:

“In my opinion, any promise between a man and a woman incident to a marriage ceremony rises to the dignity of a covenant…

                Over a lifetime of dealing with human problems, I have struggled to understand what might be considered “just cause” for breaking of covenants.  I confess I do not claim the wisdom nor authority to definitely state what is “just cause”.  Only the parties to the marriage can determine this.  They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences which inevitably follow if these covenants are not honored.  In my opinion, “just cause” should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being.

                At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage.  Surely it is not simply “mental distress” nor “personality differences,” nor “having grown apart,” nor “having fallen out of love.”  This is especially so where there are children.”

(Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Let’s not have any more of this “starter marriage” crap.  No more, “I’ll get it right next time”.  Let’s get it right this time.  If you want a lasting and happy marriage you need not look any further than you and your spouse (ok and maybe a good marriage counselor and an ecclesiastical leader too).  It’s time to put the fighting gloves on and I don’t mean so you can punch each other out.  Fight together as a team and fight until there is nothing left to be fought for.  Once you have exhausted every avenue, only then should the word divorce even become part of your vocabulary.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)