A Proclamation to the World

Image source: 

http://givinglighttoeachother.com/christmas/lesson-3-the-family-is-of-god/

This month marks the 20^th anniversary of The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.  It was read in LDS general conference in 1995 by President Gordon B. Hinckley, but it wasn’t meant to stop there.   It is not just for our own profit.  It was called a proclamation to the world for a reason.  It is our duty to share the principles found here with everyone around us.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

It is not only those not of our faith that need to hear these principles.  Sometimes members of our own families need a reminder also.  It would serve us well to memorize it so that it can be recalled in moments of need.  Just as we memorized the articles of faith when we were in primary to be able to explain our core beliefs to others, we can also use these principles pertaining to the family to explain our position on many of the topics that are being challenged today in the world.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

If you would like to study The Family:  A Proclamation to the World more you can find it here: 

https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng

“But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.”  (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8)

Orphans in Russia

Image source:  http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2013/01/11/russia-current-adoption-approvals-allowed-to-move-forward/

Have you ever wondered why there are so many orphans in Russia?  I mean, it’s not like this third world country where people starve to death and die from curable diseases because they can’t afford medicine, right?  It’s because long ago a new government made some radical changes to the definition of marriage….hmmm sound familiar?  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Two decades after the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917, the Marxist government tried to encourage the decline of marriage.  How did they do this?  They did away with religious marriages, they allowed postcard divorces, and cohabitation was recognized as legitimate, just to name a few.  The consequences of these new policies were devastating and the children took the hardest hit.  Hence, the many orphans.  Luckily they realized that they made a big mistake and have returned to strongly supporting marriage and the family as the fundamental unit of society.  But it takes a long time to recover from such a hard blow.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Anyone else afraid that history is going to repeat itself with the new definition of marriage in the United States?  I know I am.

The issue of same-sex marriage is NOT one of civil rights.  Redefining marriage based on adult sexual interests decreases the importance of the responsibility that comes with procreation.  As Peter Parker’s grandpa once said, “With great power comes great responsibility”.  We are given the sacred power as men and women, legally bound in marriage, to act as God and create human life.  That is not something to be messed with.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Marriage is ordained of God and we should be careful when trying to redefine it.  “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”  (Galatians 6:7, King James Version)

I’ll leave you with this prophetic warning from President Gordon B. Hinckley:

“The evils of the world will continue to escalate unless there is an underlying acknowledgement, even a strong and fervent conviction, that the family is an instrument of the Almighty.  It is His creation.  It is also the most fundamental and basic unit of society.  And it deserves—no, it demands—our combined focus and attention.

We go to great lengths to preserve historical buildings and sites in our cities.  We need to apply the same fervor to preserving the most ancient and sacred of institutions—the family!

We cannot effect a turnaround in a day or a month or a year.  But with enough effort, we can begin a turnaround within a generation, and accomplish wonders within two generations—a period of time that is not very long in the history of humanity.”(Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Just cause? OR just 'cause?

Image Source:  http://people.bu.edu/wwildman/WeirdWildWeb/jokes_menwomen.htm

We humans always want to take the easy way out.  Just look at all the weight loss gimmicks out there that people fall for daily that claim to give us almost instant results.  But do they ever?  No.  Just as there is no magic pill to fix our weight problems, there is no magical divorce decree to fix our marriage problems.  We will inevitably repeat what we fail to repair.

I know we can all think of someone who got a divorce just because.  I heard of a lady that had been happily married for 20+ years and one day she was telling one of her girlfriends that she was “bored” with her husband.  The “friend” told her she should divorce him, so she did.  Simple as that.  I don’t know what kind of a “friend” talks someone into getting a divorce if there isn’t some serious problems going on and who even listens to that kind of advice if there aren’t any serious problems going on???

Some people might use the excuse that that they just argue too much.  Well guess what?  EVERYONE ARGUES!  It’s perfectly normal to argue with your spouse.  That doesn’t mean you can’t work things out.  Now if that arguing turns physical that’s a different story.

I had a friend that divorced her husband because he stopped going to church and he just wasn’t progressing spiritually like she was.  Yes, that is frustrating, and to some it could be the most tragic thing to happen in a marriage.  But is that really reason enough to throw in the towel?

President James E. Faust taught:

“In my opinion, any promise between a man and a woman incident to a marriage ceremony rises to the dignity of a covenant…

                Over a lifetime of dealing with human problems, I have struggled to understand what might be considered “just cause” for breaking of covenants.  I confess I do not claim the wisdom nor authority to definitely state what is “just cause”.  Only the parties to the marriage can determine this.  They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences which inevitably follow if these covenants are not honored.  In my opinion, “just cause” should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being.

                At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage.  Surely it is not simply “mental distress” nor “personality differences,” nor “having grown apart,” nor “having fallen out of love.”  This is especially so where there are children.”

(Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)

Let’s not have any more of this “starter marriage” crap.  No more, “I’ll get it right next time”.  Let’s get it right this time.  If you want a lasting and happy marriage you need not look any further than you and your spouse (ok and maybe a good marriage counselor and an ecclesiastical leader too).  It’s time to put the fighting gloves on and I don’t mean so you can punch each other out.  Fight together as a team and fight until there is nothing left to be fought for.  Once you have exhausted every avenue, only then should the word divorce even become part of your vocabulary.  (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012)